SPONGE BOBS MODERN LIFE
by toni-pepperz
Summary: this is very funny story with your favorite charictors from the all time favorite show SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS it is a humur mystery but it all so has alot of action with guns and atomic bombs
1. the surprise guest

Hello my name is Lachlan Mitchell and this is my story on sponge bob square pants and one of exciting, crazy and funny adventures under the sea now if you do not watch the sponge bob square pants show you should trust me now at many part of this story you should. So if you like this story please send a review and if you don't like this story please send a review and tell me ways of improving it. Now here are a few things you should remember for an example.  
  
If you see this it means the story is telling something from the past ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you see it again it means you are back to the original part.  
  
When you see this it's a new part of the story.  
*****  
  
Now its about time I started the story so I'll just get the coke cookies and coke mmm coke (the writer starts drawling on his shirt) got it.  
  
  
  
Sponge bobs modern life  
  
So the story begins. One very stormy cold and frosty night me and Patrick were talking remember when me and sponge bob were talking about his modern life. Now its Patrick telling this story so read on. It was a bright sunny day and me and sponge bob were walking around bikini bottoms and we saw sandy walking down the street so we decided to say hello and so we walked over and said hello  
  
Patrick: hello  
  
Sponge bob: hey  
  
Sponge bob: what are you doing today sandy (cheerfully)  
  
Sandy: hey inventing something that hey get lost. sponge bob (happily then angry)  
  
Sponge bob: Ok but wait I have something to give you  
  
And reached into his pocket and pulled out a few things a mirror hair brush lipstick and boat keys for his grand ma's boat  
  
Sponge bob: oh here it is  
  
he pulled out a piece of paper and gave it to sandy it was a invite to his karaoke party this Saturday night it was going to be the best party he ever threw every one in bikini bottoms was going to be their including squid worth.. will be coming but maybe a surprise guest will show up.  
  
Sandy: oh get real sponge bob  
  
Sponge bob: well I take that as a yes  
  
Patrick: oh great more sea creatures  
  
Sandy: I'll be there 8:00 sharp  
  
Sponge bob: yes that's 3 down 379 to go  
  
Then Sponge bob saw Mr crabs and decided he would ask him if he would like to go out to dinner with him next Saturday night which was a week from the karaoke party and then he saw squid worth and thought hmm I don't know what I'm doing next Saturday night maybe I should ask out squid worth. Now you know me I'm no mind reader the only way I know how this happened was because I was told by sponge later anyway back to the story. So three days past. And sponge bob woke up to his alarm and remembered what day it was and leaped out of bed and said to Gary  
  
Sponge bob: do you know what day it is today Gary.  
  
Gary: mow  
  
Sponge bob: that's right its Friday that means I have to go to work and than Grand ma's place so he pulled on his clothes and went to work where he saw Mr Crabs  
  
Mr Crabs: hey my boy what are you doing I mean how are you feeling  
  
Sponge bob: same as always Mr Crabs  
  
Mr Crabs: how many times do I have to tell you (angry) call me Crabby?  
  
Sponge bob: same as always one more time at least  
  
Mr crabs: better start making me money I mean patties  
  
Sponge bob: sure thing Mr Crabs  
  
Then sponge bob walked into the kitten and started to cook some patties  
  
Squid worth: two doubles three ordinary and one original  
  
Sponge bob: sure thing  
  
And then suddenly creaked open their was a shark he had two big eyes and about a hundred teeth and said  
  
Shark: give me a large and DON'T FORGET THE PATTY (yelling)  
  
Squid worth: that'll be $9.50 sponge bob one large oh don't forget the patty  
  
Sponge bob: ok  
  
And gave the shark his burger then everyone even the blind were looking at him then he bit it  
  
Shark: hmm this is the nicest bugger I have ever tasted  
  
Shark: but still hungry maybe I'll eat you  
  
Pointing at a little red fish in the corner and then about 3 seconds later he noticed he was really pointing at the burger he was about to eat and then he started to walk over to the fish the fish got so scared he ran out of the building and dropped the patty on some boat going past and nobody saw him in bikini bottoms again then the shark ran out of the building and chased the boat. That afternoon he went to his grand ma's house  
  
Grand ma: hey sponge bob  
  
Sponge Bob: Hey Grandma  
  
Grandma quickly hides something behind her back  
  
Sponge Bob: What's behind your back?  
  
Grand ma: Oh? Nothing.  
  
Sponge Bob: Yes there is, tell me.  
  
Grandma: Ok. - Grandma pulls out a gun from behind her back Grandma: DIE, SPONGE BOB, DIE!! Grandma yells  
  
Sponge Bob: Nooooooo Grandma, I loved you. Sponge bobs lip trembles  
  
Grandma: I've got news for you my little spongy *grandma laughs evilly* I AM THE SPONGE FROM HELL *she laughs evilly again*  
  
Sponge Bob: *looks at grandma in horror* But - But - But - NOOOOOOO  
  
Grandma: YES *eyes glint evilly* *grandma shoots*  
  
BLAM!!  
  
Sponge Bob: *gasps in pain* Ohhhhh it hurts it hurts *he wails* Sponge Bob wiggles on the floor in pain then stops. Sponge Bob: Hmmm I didn't feel any thing  
  
Grandma: of course you didn't feel anything you're a sponge like me and we could get shredded and not feel anything so what do you say partners we would be invincible nobody could stop us so what do you say will you join me  
  
Sponge Bob: *crying* no no no I will never turn evil not me never  
  
Grandma: *nice now* ok well hows about a story and sweater with love in every stitch  
  
Sponge bob: ok  
  
******  
  
now it is party time and all of the guests have just arrived and are having a good time but me being a very mature star fish I thought I shouldn't drink any or much punch so I only had a bit then some more then some more and then it was empty then sponge bob had just finished setting up the karaoke machine and just announced  
  
Sponge Bob: hey everyone and thanks for coming to my party now theirs going to be singing jokes and stories not just funny one scary and happy too so how about around of applause for our first act fishy martin the gay pop singer  
  
Fishy martin: hey every one first song I'm going to sing is twinkle twinkle little star  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
But just as fishy martin was about to start a surprise guest showed up and was ready to get PARTY! But the thing only pulled out a gun and said put all your things into my began everyone started too. Then Mr Crabs showed up and said are you ready to party and he said  
  
Mr Crabs: bring in the dancing lobsters  
  
And just as he said that the robber got away  
  
Than squid ward said  
  
Squid ward: where were the police while we were doing this  
  
Fishy martin: um right there *pointing at two drunk fish*  
  
Squid ward: well we need better police more safety and I'm going to volunteer and who's does want me too  
  
Sandy: hmm more police people this will make it harder for my evil plan to work  
  
So Patrick was it scared when she came in with the gun hmm that's hard to think you see me being very mature I was pretty scared yeah sure now your gay lets get a room Um Lachlan your had to much coke I think I should take that off you huh NO! *angry* read next chapter before Lachlan kills me 


	2. doulble or nothin

DOUBLE OR NOTHIN  
  
The next day in bikini bottoms squid ward got out of bed and walked  
straight to the bus stop where he caught the bus to a little ally where he saw a desk with  
a bell so he walked over to the desk and pressed in the bell and two  
squirrel like things came out  
  
Squirrel: hey what you want  
  
Squid ward: a gun  
  
Squid ward: a big gun  
  
Squirrel: sure that'll be $206.95  
  
Squid ward: ok hand it over  
  
Squirrel: ok come back in a week if you still want it then and memorise this gun safety sheet  
  
Squid ward: a week *frowning*  
  
Squirrel: what don't you want it anymore well ok?  
  
*****  
  
Two days had past and theirs squid ward sitting out side his house looking board  
  
Squid worth: so many things to shoot just no gun to shoot them *board*  
  
Then ducks crazy fish rabbits sandy and sponge bob walked past but as Sponge bob walked past he mumbled to him self  
  
Squid ward: oh don't make it harder sponge bob  
  
Sponge bob: harder for what Squid ward  
  
Squid ward: well since the robber came at your party I fought maybe I should get a gun for protection in case they or others came at another party because the cops weren't doing their job why did you even invite them  
  
Sponge bob: but I didn't  
  
Squid ward: don't paly dumb  
  
Sponge bob: but I didn't  
  
Squid ward: well who did?  
  
Sponge bob: well I did tell them to keep checking on the party in case anyone got drunk. Oh dam the must fought come get drunk dam it now what's going to happen fish might invite them to there parties. Because the think I invited him to mine dam  
  
Then I walked over and asked what they were doing they said  
  
Squid ward: nothing but I bet you want to do something  
  
Patrick: yes JELLY FISHING  
  
Sponge bob: yeah that'll keep your mind of getting a gun. Oops  
  
Patrick: what was that I was about to tie my shoe lace when I noticed I didn't have shoes  
  
Sponge bob: c'mon lets go  
  
So they walked to they jelly fishing fields where they saw Plankton  
  
Plankton: so what are you doing here?  
  
Sponge bob: jelly fishing  
  
Plankton: oh ok  
  
Squid ward: what are you doing? Squid ward: shouldn't you be trying to still one of the Crabby patties from the krusty crab  
  
Plankton: no I gave up remember  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Plankton: hello M Crabs now I have your crabby patties I better be leaving  
  
Mr Crabs: SOME ONE STOP HIM  
  
Sponge bob: this looks like a job for Merman and Barnacle boy  
  
Sponge bob was dress in blue pants a red cape and a star fish on his nose Patrick was wearing the normal board shorts with a cape. Then they ran out side and saw a patty walking to the chum bucket and they caught Planket by running over and picking him up  
  
Mr Crabs: thanks my boy I mean boys  
  
News Paper Kid: extra extra merman and barnacle boy save THE KRUSTY CRAB and restore hope ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Squid ward: oh yeah  
  
Mean while  
  
Sandy went out of her under sea house and walked to the ally where Squid ward Got the gun and said in and showed some card then she when to a room and on the door it said  
SANDY  
OFFICE  
Head of operation S.U.W  
  
She walked and saw the squirrel  
  
Sandy: hmm has anyone came yet john  
  
John: yes a squid by the name of squid ward  
  
Sandy: good that means Phrase one worked  
  
John: why wouldn't it  
  
Sandy: I don't know because somebody could have blabbed  
  
John: maybe Joe bring in Grandma  
  
Sandy: hmm  
  
Joe: * pushes grandma in the room*  
  
Grandma: I did my bit you pay up Grandma: you can't kill me  
  
Sandy: you're absolutely right  
  
John: get ride of her take her to underpants bottoms  
  
Joe: ok  
  
Sandy: No one will miss her will they HA HA HA?  
  
John: not at all  
  
Sandy: well time for phrase 2  
  
She pulled out a shot gun  
  
Sandy: sorry john but it would never of worked me a head of office and right hand man good bye *pulls trigger* *Joe walks in forgot my keys and the bullet hit him* John: you witch  
  
Sandy: you mean Squirrel *reloads* good bye*  
  
John: heres my will John: oh good bye  
  
Sandy:* pulls trigger*  
  
Sandy walked away  
  
*****  
  
Back to sponge bob  
  
Sponge bob: got one  
  
Patrick: yah  
  
Squid ward: who ever invented this game  
  
Patrick and Sponge bob: why of course you  
  
Plankton: when do we eat them  
  
Sponge bob: never this is fun  
  
Squid ward: yes lots of fun  
  
Then we decided to go to the krusty crab and they all walked their  
  
Squid ward: um plankton your not aloud in here  
  
Plankton: can you bring me out one  
  
Squid ward: no  
  
Sponge bob: yes  
  
Squid ward no  
  
Sponge bob: yes  
  
Squid ward: no patty just fries  
  
Plankton: alright  
  
***** The next day  
  
Sponge bob wakes  
  
Sponge bob: do you know what to day is Gary  
  
Gary: mow  
  
Sponge bob: that's right SATURDAY Sponge bob: it's my date with Squid ward  
  
Gary: mow  
  
Sponge bob: *walks over to calendar and reads* Sponge bob: oh no I already had set a date for Mr Crabs  
  
Hey hey the coke it fizzing up inside me night need water and more cookies ah what can you do hey I have animal cookies *reaches in and gets on* he it's a giraffe now one lesson before eating animal cookies always decapitate them mmm head less giraffe *drops then eats* next Chapter please* 


End file.
